fuckers acting like selfies are “unhealthy” and “self-absorbed” when old ass generations sat and got their selfies painted for hours by talented artists
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ANCIENT EGYPTIANS MADE SOLID GOLD STATUES OF THEMSELVES. ANCIENT GREEKS/ROMANS MADE MARBLE FUCKING STATUES OF THEMSELVES. TAKE A DAMN SELFIE
Renaissance or baroque? Hardcover or softcover? Small galleries or large museums? Clear mornings or thunderstorms at night? Silent films or Shakespeare plays? Greek or Roman statue?
things to fill your heart with
- little flowers
- mediterranean winds
- coffee from foreign places
- rain storms in italy
- archaic languages
- quiet pondwater
- architecture and marble
- grand cathedrals
- bamboo forests
- statues in the louvre
- climbing fruit trees
- parisian metro stations
- tiny hummingbirds
- thunderstorms
my favorite tidbit about rome is that in the mid-1800s one of the popes didnt like the statues in rome having dicks so he ordered them knocked off. fast forward to the last decade or so and art historians in conjunction with the vatican are trying to erm. restore. the statues. but the dicks were just. kept in a box. so art historians are going around rome, with a box of dicks, trying to match them up to their owner.
Do not fall in love with people like me, because I am someone who will take you to museums. I work at a museum during the night as a security guard. Sometimes the statues come alive and try to kill me. I have made a pact with Theodore Roosevelt and a cowboy that looks like Owen Wilson to protect me from the other statues. Attila the Hun is leading the others to be at war with us. They may have won the battle but we will win the war.
one night two parents went out for dinner
a few hours later the baby sitter called and asked if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids room
the dad told her to get out of the house and call the police and that they didnt have a clown statue
when the police got there it turned out they did have a clown statue and the dad had alzheimers
I’m blocking everyone defending the Nicki Minaj wax statue. Yes, we all know she has a big ass. Yes, everyone loves her ass. That doesn’t mean that is how she should be immortalized.
Kim Kardashian’s statue is her in a power stance even though she reached her fame by sucking Ray J’s dick on camera.
Miley Cyrus’ wax statue is her standing fully clothed, even though her most iconic moments have been in nude or nearly-nude positions—like her spandex gel shorts when she “twerked” on Robin Thicke, or when she was licking a sledgehammer while riding a wrecking ball.
They could have chosen any number of poses, clothing choices, and etc. for Nicki—even if it was from Anaconda—which were not her bent over doggystyle so people could degrade her further by pretending to have sex with her statue.
They could have chosen the Alexander McQueen outfit from the video, even, and that would have looked stellar while still being recognizable.
Instead, they chose to immortalize her in a sexually gratifying position for he audience, rather than treating her like everyone else and making her statue at least semi-recognizable and powerful.
Misogynoir. Period.
a list of sounds
- high heels clacking on the marble tiles of a church
- a soda can being opened
- a plastic-covered library book being pressed flat, crunching the binding
- a marble rolling on a wooden floor
- wood popping and crackling as it burns
oh my god
Why is it so calming to imagine these sounds?
a list of sounds
- high heels clacking on the marble tiles of a church
- a soda can being opened
- a plastic-covered library book being pressed flat, crunching the binding
- a marble rolling on a wooden floor
- wood popping and crackling as it burns
oh my god
I’m cleansed
a list of sounds
- high heels clacking on the marble tiles of a church
- a soda can being opened
- a plastic-covered library book being pressed flat, crunching the binding
- a marble rolling on a wooden floor
- wood popping and crackling as it burns
oh my god